The season is upon us once again so, as regular as clockwork, we've been rummaging in the TVC Towers attic for our tatty old suitcase full of paper chains, tinsel and those spherical crepe paper fold out decorations that become more folornly frayed with each passing year. Similarly showing its age is our HTML-based selection box of bits and pieces from Yuletides past, when Christmas was Christmas, and Woolies was wonderful. So, get yourself a prize turkey, the double edition of TV Times, and settle down with a bottle of De Kuyper cherry brandy, some Ye Olde Oak tinned ham and a half-eaten box of Terry's Harlequin ("An assortment of magical tastes!") and enjoy some festive frolics we've put together especially for you. Actually, we did this all in September, we're probably sunning ourselves in Tenerife about now...

Sing hossana! - TVC'S FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT CHRISTMAS

Clashing disastrously with the bread sauce - A CHRISTMAS TOP OF THE POPS COMPANION

A history of the Big Film on Christmas Day - IT'S MINCE PIE TIME

Talking turkey with Hartley and Wells - TVC'S TWELVE OBSCURE PROGRAMMES OF CHRISTMAS

Settle down with the Meltis Newberry Fruits as we present - TVC'S ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS DAY SCHEDULE

Need some accompaniment basting the turkey? - TVC'S FANTASY RADIO 1 CHRISTMAS SCHEDULE

"Xmas" too new-fangled these days? Try - TVC'S CHRISTMAS REGRESSION KIT

AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU AT HOME!