I drew this myself!!!


Yayy!!! It's me, Billie!!! With my fantastic column!! About Wildlife!!

And now I'm branching out with the Learn-to-Read Rap! With my mates Busta Rhymes and Lord Have Mercy! A-a-a-a-n-d... what should you never buy me for Christmas? Found out in Billie's Unwelcome Gifts!

(And be sure to check out my interview with M.D. Cribuffs!! What a lovely man!!)

Honestly! Look at his stupid face.

What's he doing here?

Oh, yes. I was busy, so I let Ritchie have a go. I haven't seen what he's done but I doubt that it's any good. But it shut him up for a couple of hours.

It's cute!

It all started here!

Read about how I found myself looking after 79 darling little monkeys...

It's educational!
I had loads of adventures when I took my monkeys to the Natural History Museum - and I learned loads too! Click on my face to get educated!!!
It's contagious!
And then I was startled by a stranger-in-the-night!! It's just here!!!!
It's scary and wet!
You'd think bath time would be relaxing, wouldn't you?

Oh no!!!! Click here to find out how not-relaxing getting clean can be!!!

It's mind-bending!

Now I've met a brand new animal friend. And I'm already in all sorts of bother!

It's historic! And I'm still in all sorts of bother!!! Cos it's Part 2 of the bother above!!!  
All new for the Billie-ennium!! If you thought the last adventure was weird, well, check this one out cos it hasn't even happened yet!!! That's how strange it is!!!!  
It's a bit harrowing! Oo-er! I came over a bit peculiar at the weekend! Click me for a cautionary tale!  


Come back and visit me soon!!! There might not be many monkeys left, but there's plenty of adventures!

...back to Gorilla Salad...