It's MD Cribuffs
vs. MD Cribuffs. What is up with that?
I, MD Crimbuffs, have
taken vast amounts of a experimental hydronic-brain drug (codenamed:
Arthur Rippley or Douglas Alan Spiro) to enable independent thought in
my two brain hemispheres. This will allow I and I to be the first guy
in the multiverse to interview himselves.
You know even for us this is a bit odd.
You know we is right.
[Bouts of laughter and uncontrollable horseplay]
Where did we get that hat?
That was when we first met Buchan, we were still playing with Jam Tambourine:
the reporting rock stars. Oh, back in '74 we thinks. Da Jam Tam band
was what the welsh called us w'know. The first and last journalistic
heavy rock crossover group, us, Jon Snow, Pete Gordon and Elky Brookes.
But what about that hat on us head?
Yeah, well playing the Northampton CheeseBoxing Club we met the Buchan.
And he blew our minds. Jon still says he was Jam Tambourine's yoko oh-no
but we thinks that's just because Buchan speaks yiddish so well. After
communicating with him and I and I knew things had to change and he
gave us this hat.
After Pacman, and to a lesser extent, Ms Pacman, we were reported to
be working on a 'wrap-around' room for sale to haunted houses. Did we
have any success in this direction?
The proto-type worked, don't ask me how, cow magic? as good a explanation
as any. People went, well we pushed them wit' really big sticks, through
the east door and came instantly while returning through the west door.
The Americans wanted it for da' starwars program but I had Robert Asquiff
lined up as a buyer. Going from west to east of course inverted the
colon, nasty blow back action.
Our Sunday Times column, 'Cribuffs On Patrol' disappeared from that
paper without notice between 1969-1972. During those three years, the
moon and all its inhabitants were conquered by NASA. Coincidence?
And where are the stats??? There's shareholders on the phone! We can't
still be believing this, we probably went bendy with booze.
Steven Hawkings has gabbed off that on a visit to our secret tower,
he saw a
bulky shape under a tarpaulin that we referred to as 'only the meanest
mofucking Pokemon of all'. Do we plan to release this into the wild,
or are Nintendo forcing us to keep it under wraps?
Ever since we went pussy hunting with Shigeru Miyamoto in Ginza, we're
been attempting to make Nintendo flesh. And so of the saddest and baddest
days of our life where those failed Mario growths. Those poor freak-oh
of our genome-genius. We've been using our 20 years celeb access (all
areas, homes) to collect tissue samples and wavy brain guffs. By cro0osh
furtive splicing of Billie, Mohammed Ali and Dung T'Pau Ping DNA with
the enemy AI of Pikachu et al, we have developed the dream of the last
twelve months, the live Pokemon. And Hawkings yo gonna get yo'self slapped,
big mouthed crip.
Exactly how long are we again?
One Cable laid flat, maybe on so kinda mat.
And a third of a cable at right angles.
We have a reputation as a ladies' man. If this reputation was even a
quarter of what it's cracked up to be, how have we had time for eating
cake, biscuits etc.?
A third of a cable long, and I'm asking myself why the chicks dig my
pump action slacks?
We take our cake in our beer like classy gents.
How do we get access to our interviewees? Is it true that Parkinson
is hopping mad as a result of our Chewie Bear's Baby scoop-la?
Blackmail and criminal damage are the two best friends of modern today
upto the minute wired reporting space diva, like ourself. Parky is yesteryear's
pope or something. We use to fight like frog and beaver but the old
coot just ain't up to it now. Fight Club, pish, who hasn't set up chains
of illegal fight club?
We gnash our teeth at the night sky. Talk us through this.
We don't believe in miracles... what's that word toothpaste? But photons!
now that's been scientifically proved and everyting. That light from
a billion stars clean me toothies ever night. And we never howl.
We claim not to be afraid of anything but I've seen you drop out the
loft screaming. What is up with that?
So did you. ha [laughing like a mice]
Shite, I think that drug have become weared out.
Me brain c'est tuff! Thank me, You crepes.