Gorilla Salad is good and you want to be part of the goodness?

I understand.

You would like to send stuff to the Salad? But your tiny (yet powerful) brain has dried up.

You is in the right place, parner!

This is a small pointer in the direction we call fun. A masterclass in the art of amusement by numbers. See, Gorilla Salad will take any style of old rubbish you can think of. It ain't fussy about which pips it sucks, if you know what I'm getting at. No good two dollar primate tart.

Lesson One:

The basic post-modern joke is:

obscenity , pop culture reference, obscenity

Example 1: Zen style: Bastard Ricky Knockers (at the time of writing Ricky Martins or Butcher would go down well.)

Or using advanced repetition:

Example 2 : Cunt Claypole's Cunts

Try not to limit you pop culture references but 70's kids shows and the dead are a good place to start.

Now you try! Have you mastered the above?

Try the inverted basic: pop culture reference, obscenity, pop culture reference

Example 3: Mel and Kim Lezzers for Richard Bryers

Example 4: Mel Smith shits WHSmith's lacking porn rack

Lesson Two:

Try to create an amusing situation or conceit like a famous or Historical figure in an absurd place or doing an "odd" thing. Like Dave Lee Travis on the moon or Batman in Megacity One.

Then write it down and ask the following questions, answer truthfully:

Is this funny?

Shouldn't I include a brief description of what I'm wearing?

Why don't I just send it and be damned?

Gorilla Salad has no weapons but furry monkey love.

Lesson Three:

Don't worry about how knackered and dog-eared you shitty prose is you not Belgian so cheer up love.

Lesson Four:

Send it in! Otherwise we can't put it up. Sorry, but rules is rules. Send it here:

gorilla@robiad.freeuk.com

Send it quickly. Thank you.

Your helpmeister was M.D. Cribuffs The Post-Modern docker.

Cribuff's Hair and Styles by Andy.