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There's little doubt that DVD is the best thing ever. With the enhanced features such as having the deputy tea-carpenter chatting fart in the background and watching scenes in a silly order, plus the elimination of anxiety as to whether you're taping over something important, it's clear that the format (standing for Da Venerable Disc) will last forever, possibly until the end of the decade. Here are some terrific Boothy offers with which to augment your Ikea stacking device with which to. But don't take our word for it, take our word for it - they're the best!
That Moore - The Best of Alan Moore's Generation Game (Madventry)
£30.99 - 1.7 hrs - Nenescreen
"Noice to see you, to see you... NOICE!" A treasurable compilation of the best games and skits from Northampton Bard Alan Moore's five-year tenure on The Generation Game. Thrill to a junior accountant's attempt to write a 500-page graphic novel cycle about personal transendence through dedicated study of archaic folk magick in 60 seconds with an icing bag! Laugh as the poor fool old woman from Bridgnorth tries in vain to keep a dozen plates spinning on poles while Alan burns a hole in her head with his demonic stare! And of course the classic mystical pagan artifacts conveyor belt. A real treat for the trampish and odd.
Special features : Free avatar of the Snoike God, and a hole through which to look at it.
Some asterisks : *****
Harold Robbins (GlaxoWellcome)
£32.99 - 138322.7886 hrs - Bigscreen
A DVD milestone! The fast-paced, hard-hitting author's full DNA sequence on one disc. Browse through the genetic makeup of the author of The Carpetbaggers, The Betsy and more, while educated entertainer John Sessions provides concise commentary.
Special features : When science has reached the appropriate stage, use the information on the disc to create your own Harold Robbins, and have him write new raunchy adventures just for you and your friends - with yourselves as characters. Includes 1992 South Bank Show special, "The Harold Robbins Affair", and music videos from Kingmaker and Ash.
Goin' wild in the penile : **
: Yabbataboo! (FlimFour)
£23.89 - 0 hrs - sort of minisemiwidescreen
All your favourite taboos broken in this never-before-seen exclusive DVD! Thrill to nighttime candlesticking! Go mad when big Bez goes racist on a heroin thalidomide bender! Gawp at a walrus-bang involving Jews! Hide from the gay foxhunting vicar-rabbi vs. S&M bulimic Taliban schoolmarm! It means well.
Special features : A phone number at the end to make it all better, kiss kiss.
Crammo : *
Sinclair: life of the tea rodent (Sinclair
£99.99 - .236 hrs - 8colourscreen
The Sir Clive lengend laid bare! in words and pictures with bells and whistles. Sir Clive was born in 1940, the son of a wealthy fruit and veg salesman and a French nurse. His life was boring until he invented the pocket calculator in 1976, after which he succeeded in inventing lots more things. As a tea rodent he discovered electronics. Clive had been always enthusiastically by miniaturized things and transferred this interest to its circuit drafts, by looking for ever better and more elegant versions with ever smaller components. He tinkered radios and amplifiers for his family and friends, so that the chaotic status of its room was to some extent left accepted.
Special features : Live acting included free.
Pika Pika : ****
City Volume 1 (2.3 Ideas)
£3.89 - 9.99922 hrs - unsoldscreen
It was a landmark in TV history and everybody watched it, it was fucking great. Now you too can see what all the fuss was never about in this uncensored exposť of what some clips from the old programmes would look like when strung together on Edit Me! and an old iMac. Proper 'City, not Johnny Vaughan and Stupid Macaroni and all that crap. Thrill to sod all, really.
Special features : Mouth suppressant, and you can choose not to watch if that is your desire.
Gleaming The Cube : ***
The DVD Jamboree! (Granada Granary Hotels)
£123.00 - 38.00000001 hrs - BrianRogerscreen
Fun for nearly all the family as an animated Ted Rogers hosts thirty-eight hours of original 321 clips featuring performances by George Hamilton IV, Roger de Courcey, Rose Marie and many, many, many, many more.
Special features : Dusty Recycle
Bin icon for your PC desktop, and 1,500 interactive
riddles to ponder in your own home:
£53.50 - 640 hrs - noscreen
The DVD edition on this seminal abstract collage from the late Derek Jarman is enhanced by the Spectrum Machine, which allows the viewer to change the onscreen colour to any one of 16,000,000 possible hues and shades. Derek Jarman's Brown is now a possibility! State of the art Emotodisc technology changes audio track to match the 'feel' of the new colour - a predominantly yellow screen triggers a soundscape of cheerful whistles and happy laughter, whilst a black selection brings eerie, creaking stair sounds and a hint of ghost. Expand upon Derek's original vision and create your own puzzling and lengthy masterpiece.
Special features : None.
Toyah! : **