An adult hydro-jizzer springs out of the foul, black stench of London's Dockland swamp. The photographer lost her face soon after taking this picture, so you'd better appreciate it.

#334567 - Hydro-jizzer! (aqua spumos rech)

The hydro-jizzer has the body of a pike and many tiny, caterpillar-like legs. One leg can kill an old man or child (old ladies have inanity) with a swift snapping action that can remove a face. The hydro-jizzer's breath is deadly too.

Number of legs: Many, many legs.

Size: A small animal size, say a Monkey thumb plus a human one.

Habitat: Lives in the freshwater swamps near the Isle of Dogs in the Docklands. The poor people of the Isle of Dogs are terrorized by it.

Diet: Water-based ice pops which it catches using its long (but tiny) stinging legs.

Social grouping: True Communism, but they move by cart-wheeling.

Useful byproducts: Hasbos share price and cockney population control.

Reproduction: Hydro-jizzers have sex in the normal manner. In order to reproduce, they grow a bud on their main body, which then transmutes into a baby hydro-jizzer. If you find some hydro-jizzers while swamp-snorkelling, why don't you put them in a jar with some small pond animals and watch them feeding? I'll tell why not - they'll rip ya face off.

Relationship with man: Man is afeared of the hydro-jizzer, so man developed the popular boardgame, Hydro-Jizzer!, based on the antic of the naughty legged fish.