Whilst we do not pretend that our collection of wyrd creatures is comprehensive, the beasts are arranged in alpha-betical order.

Bumpire

A bumpire is very similar to a vampire, except that it can only be killed by a stake through the bum. These macabre creatures are first mentioned in La Monte's The Witch-Woman of Winnebago (1912):

After the fog had lifted, I realised I had been following the wrong path for at least a half-hour. My erroneous route had delivered me to the edge of a vast and looming forest, a fathomless expanse of deep green foliage and shadows of purest pitch. This, I realised, was Winnebago.

Then, through the trees, came a bone-chilling wail, as though an infant of incredible power had been denied the breast, and I realised I was alone among the bumpires.

But La Monte's bumpires are harmless, if somewhat sinister, creatures, and it was not until Kirk's The House in the Copse (1931) that the bumpire was transformed into a formidable and deadly predator:

"You're a bumpire!" cried Harriet, clutching her pearls in terror.

"I am!" the Count replied with a deep chuckle, "And you are my wife - the wife of a bumpire. And now, to suck your blood." With this he began to advance hypnotically, furling and unfurling his cruel, tapered digits. Before he had taken three steps, however, Mr. Fripp burst through the antechamber door and drove a rough-hewn stake deep into the fiend's bum and kissed Harriet and they got married the end.

Although Kirk's work is generally dismissed by critics as lacking in maturity, he undoubtedly played a major role in the development of bumpire folklore. Kirk's bumpires drink only tea, and can be repelled by the sound of whistling. And, more uncannily, they have the power to transform into little babies at will, in much the same way as the traditional vampire turns into a bat. In the latter half of the century, the bumpire has been largely ignored, save for the notable novel In the Wheat Field by Dosteneya (1964), and the lamentable British celluloid farce, Bumpire Clinic (1972).

Kippling

A South Australian creature which has immesurable girth but no height. The Kippling (there is only one) moves among the cities of mankind at will, but cannot be detected and cannot make its presence felt other than by generating a smell of bread, and even then only when there is actual bread nearby. It is interesting to note that while there is no Kippling literature in existence whatsoever, three motion pictures about the creature are in production at the time of writing.

Mr. Tibbs

The supercilious winged goat in T.S. Eliot's 'Forking the Wind' (1927):

And Mr. Tibbs, his ears burned

And his hooves

xxxxxxx(his clattering hooves)

xxxxxxxxxxxxwhich are now bled by this rock

Now approaches this mountain

Now speaks with his murderous tongue -

xxxxxYOU ARE NO MOUNTAIN before Tibbs

But the wind

xxxxand the wind

xxxxxxxxreplies for the rock

Mr. Tibbs, go home, and age.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Werewoman

Nordic legend has it that a man who has been bitten by a woman has a very good chance of becoming a werewoman - a creature with the appearance and powers of a woman - on particularly cold nights. In medieval Sweden, it was not unusual for bona-fide women to be suspected of being werewomen, and, in the words of 15th-century playwright Thomas Evans, "to be subjectyde to alle manner of the proddinge and the pokinge by the local prystes". But despite their terrifying appearance, werewomen were largely peaceful creatures, and the legend tells that a solid week of inclement weather was enough to transform the unfortunate man into a werewoman permanently. It is said that the city of Stockholm was founded by a large, wandering tribe of werewomen in 1842, although a large number of official sources would seem to suggest otherwise.

WingedBarfe

A most unusual creature said to haunt the London scene, about which little is known.