PLEASE FIND enclosed a now rather too comprehensive 60s-70s-80s CFF list. Savour the aroma of Bird's Eye Beefburgers between two slices of Slimcea, clatter about the park on your raccoon-tailed Chopper while wearing your many-badged denim jacket with pride. Trim your bowlcut at the local "leave the sidies on" barbers. Then, nick a bottle of Cresta and a packet of pickled onion Horror Bags from the Spar and plonk yourself down on the brown pouffe for an afternoon of classic Britertainment starring future bland pop stars battling old music hall comedians.

THE ADVENTURES OF HAL 5 - Good old bloke Dicey (just watch how the cockney nicknames mount up) has to part with his faithful car HAL 5 (a vintage model Austin Seven of about 1928). Nasty salesman Goorly (told ya!) flogs it to the vicar, but it turns out to be crap, so the Vicar returns it to Goorly who plans to write it off for the insurance. But it doesn't work, and he loses his job. Then the vicar gets HAL 5 back and repairs it - good as new! And, er, that's it. There are some children in it, somewhere...

ALL AT SEA - Cool kid Doug is on a cruise (an "educational" one, though), with a package for his pen pal in Tangiers. His mate Steve puts two and two together and reckons the parcel is "contraband" (note - not "drugs". Oh no). Then the dodgy "Mr Danvers" appears, the parcel goes missing, and it all gets a bit nasty - Danvers was the smuggler! He's tricked Doug and Steve! But it all turns out all right in the end.

ANOOP AND THE ELEPHANT - Two bog-standard CFF-style kids (including - yes! - LINDA ROBSON) have adventures with Anoop Singh and his cute liddle baby elephant chum, Ranee. Evil adult this time is nasty circus owner Monty Barker (JIMMY "WHACKO!" EDWARDS), who wants the baby elephant for his circus (boo! hiss!) but Ranee eventually comes good, by rescuing an errant horse. Somehow.

AVALANCHE - Posh kids skiing in the Tyrol try to climb a mountain. Dave and Rob, in authentic climbing loon pants, set out but Dave soon breaks his leg. The rest of the kids turn up, and move him into a nearby mountain hut. Then - oh, wonder of wonders - the hut is buried by an avalanche. But they get out in the end.

THE BATTLE OF BILLY'S POND - Two boys acting as enviro-warriors see a pond becoming polluted. One of the boys is the snotty son of a professor type who has a very early video phone in his house with which he converses with his father. Also some character from the council whose help they enlist, that Welsh guy with too many teeth in his mouth, who rides around on a Honda scooter (70 or 90, can't remember) with a pudding bowl crash helmet on. Lots of chasing tankers around, double lensed camcorders, and the strongest dye known to man.

THE BIG CATCH - Pony-napping capers on a Scottish island. Four kids try to capture a wild horse so they can sell it to mend an old boat. Quite. Then another kid turns up and tries to catch a pony himself, and the others try to stop him. A dire warning about the dangers of trying to catch a wild horse by yourself.

THE BIG FISH - A Czech entry (with English narration dubbed over in that annoying Oskar, Kina/Legends of Tim Tyler way) featuring ferryman's son Jirka (you heard), who has a pet carp, which gets attacked by a pike. With the villagers' help, they finally catch it, though. This went on for an hour, you can imagine the padding they had to put in.

BIG WHEELS AND SAILOR - It's Convoy GB! The titular trucks are hijacked by a gang led by "Mother" (yes, I know). Big Wheels is captured, but "Mother" didn't reckon with Polly and Simon (see below), two bog-standard CFF kids who just happen to be on board. The baddies find them and stick them under a nearby derelict lime kiln, and force Simon to lure Sailor into their trap via CB. A Peckinpah-style chase ensues, stretching CFF budgets to breaking point with six trucks, several cars and a motorbike. OTT stuff.

Point of casting order from Fluffy of Baseline: Playing the part of Simon was the man with a daily column in the Mirror... Mr Showbiz himself, Matthew Wright. The same Matthew Wright who appeared in a couple of Fruit Pastilles adverts around the same time, one of which featured a school outing to Stonehenge and the lines...

Teacher: "These rocks are believed to have lasted since the Neolithic Period"
Spotty Oik Schoolkid (aka Matthew Wright, for it is he): "Well, these Fruit Pastilles have lasted since the Geography period!"

THE BRNO TRIAL - Tanya gets left behind when she travels to Brno with her parents. Two local kids help her find her way there. Thing happen on the way. She gets there in the end. Not a classic.

BLACK ISLAND - Michael and Joe are larking about in and old boat (always an old boat) when they find themselves washed up on an island, and are captured by escaped convicts George Moody and Daker, who are holed up in a derelict cottage. When the convicts try to get food from the mainland, they are found out and police land on the island. A fire starts and hard-but-thick Daker pours petrol on it instead of water. The kids nearly burn, but will they really die? Hey! This is CFF. Come on...

BLIND MAN'S BUFF - Guide Dog-promoting story of blind kid Smithy helped by three other kids and dog Bella. One of the kids' dad wins the pools, and Joe is kidnapped. Smithy and the other two kids... yeah, set out to look for him. Climactic chase through Docklands (as was).

BLINKER'S SPY SPOTTER - Bring on the first of many silly titles. Blinker (DAVID SPOONER) is the son of a professor who's just invented the usual "top-secret device". He's also goalie for the local kid's football team, and himself invents a "goal repeller" which works, much to the chagrin of symbolically-named rival team The Masons. Then he invents a radar (about fifty years after Albert Taylor did much the same thing, but details, details) and discovers - shock! Some nasty-but-bungling crooks are after the top secret effort! So the team set out to foil them. As you might expect.

BLOW YOUR OWN TRUMPET - Northern musical shenanigans with aspirant cornet players Jim Fenn and Tony Holroyd. Disadvantaged Jim has to save up to buy a cornet from kindly conductor Mr Duff. Nasty privileged Tony hides Jim's cornet on the big audition day, but... his sister finds it at the last minute. Guess who wins. A moral tale.

THE BOY WHO NEVER WAS - Salu is the son of the Busandi ambassador. Fair enough. Problem is, two embassy officials who're after the president kidnap him at London's fashionable "London Airport", and swap him for a suicide bomber lookalike. Fortunately, two bog-standard CFF kids (including the brilliantly-named PAUL ATLANTIS) are on had to foil this cheap chicanery.

THE BOY WHO TURNED YELLOW - Taught us all about the wonders of electricity. Boy is sent home from school. On Tube train home, there's a flash, and everything turns yellow, including him. There's some bloke called Nick ("Short for electroNIC") who helps him travel down the mains circuits. Oh, and there's something to do with mice. Quite surreal, but it did teach us that electricity travels at the speed of light. ("Or as we like to say, light travels at the speed of electricity"). An all-action finale involved rescuing a pet mouse from the Tower of London, with comical beefeater guards, ravens etc. Ha-ho! A prestigious entry, however, for not only was it one of the last collaborations of the great director/writer/producer team of MICHAEL POWELL and EMERIC "Nephew Danny" PRESSBURGER, but it won that year's "Chiffy" award! That's the award presented for the best CFF Film of that year. Still, not to be sniffed at...

BREAKOUT - Two boys hiding in a bird watching den discover three escaped villains from the local prison. The boys are kidnapped because they recognise the villains and there is plenty of double crossing and arguing amongst the three rogues: like a CFF version of Reservoir Dogs, we suppose. Still sometimes repeated on Sky in the mornings.

BUNGALA BOYS - Aussie location alert as the (near) drowning of a kid prompts expat CFF brothers Brian and Tony to start a local lifesaving/surfboat club. They have to train to win a race to raise money to buy a new boat, their old boat is vandalised by rival saboteurs, all comes good in the end, etc.

THE CAMERONS - Three b-s CFF kids this time, the titular Cameronas, no less, who visit their Aunt Jane (standard-issue rural relative), but come across intrigue at the near by RAF base, where the Jupiter unmanned, silent spy plane is kept under wraps. Two mysterious men who the kids saw on the train up are after the plane's engine, and the race is on to - yes - thwart them.

THE CAT GANG - A good start : Sylvia, Bill and John are suspicious of a stranger who nearly runs over Sylvia's cat. Then (get this) when the kids are out plotting the locations of some bird's nests, they discover some wire which leads to a hidden signalling post. It belongs to - yes, the cat squashing bloke, who is - yup, a smuggler. Thrilling adventures ensue, and rest assured that man's smuggling days are over.

CAUGHT IN THE ACT - Now here's a good’un. The work of Peter Ketley on Fisheries Research in Devon is, it appears, being "disorganised" by a mysterious new method of salmon poaching. And it doesn't stop there. His young brother Bob, plus two other CFF standard issue kids, chase the evil nasty poachermen through the woods until they are caught. It stops there.

THE CHRISTMAS TREE - Seasonal schmaltz with "big hearted" outpatient Gary pledging to get the other kids in his hospital ward a big old tree for Christmas. He joins up with his sister and little brother to make their own tree, and then they hitch-hike with it to the hospital with - whaddya know? - many an exciting adventure on the way.

THE COPTER KIDS - A bunch of oil prospecting helicopters (led by dashing Captain Peters, aka top BASIL BRUSH fodder DEREK FOWLDS) become embroiled in a cattle rustling intrigue with "local undesirable" Benny Baker. The Captain's kids nevertheless save the day, in time-honoured fashion.

CRY WOLF - Over-imaginative Tony is the boy who performs the eponymous act once too often, but when he overhears a genuine plot to kidnap a Commonwealth Prime Minister, the grown ups just won't be doing with it. So, somewhat inevitably, off he goes with two of his mates to capture the captors.

CUP FEVER - Mancunian junior league team Barton Utd are thwarted in their bid for the cup by the evil Councillor Bates, who turns their practice ground into a car park, and secretly wants his snotty son's team to win. Council Sleaze! But wait! They are offered help from, natch, MATT BUSBY, who lets them Train at Old Trafford with the then current Man U side! Hoorah! They win! Much to the "chagrin" of Councillor Bates. One of the kids adopted the stylish gimmick of wearing half an old football on his head. Plus you got Susan George and Bernard Cribbins. Yes!

DANGER ON DARTMOOR - More Dartmoor, more sheep-worrying. This time it's "an elusive wild hound" that's to blame, and Farmer Stock, a stock CFF farmer, is after it. Meanwhile, Jonathan, Robin and Louise get lost in the fog and captured and imprisoned in a cave by Green, a stock CFF escaped convict. The wayward Alsatian appears, frightens the baddie off, and, well... it all comes good in the end.

THE DAWN KILLER - Sheep-worrying saga with a loveable old sheepdog accused of ovicide and threatened with execution. Luckily kindly Mr. Hawkins agrees to train him back into doggie society. Kids in there somewhere, no doubt.

EAGLE ROCK - A boy rashly attempts the solo ascent of Eagle Rock and learns that teamwork is essential.

ECHO OF THE BADLANDS - Fiona and Clive are spending a holiday in Southern Africa. They make friends with Thabo, a young African boy, who has been entrusted with the task of looking after his tribe's pedigree calf. When the calf is stolen by Mobe the children set off in pursuit across the mountainous Badlands. After many exciting adventures they recover the calf and are rescued from the vengeful Mobe through using the remarkable acoustics of the Badlands.

EGGHEAD'S ROBOT - Mr Wentworth's invention, a robot paratrooper made to look like Paul, is used by his children, Paul and Elspeth, to take over chores and Paul’s sporting actvities, at which he is a duffer. Erie the robot upsets the Pack-Keeper, Harold, and in his determination to catch him, he often ends up in the compost pit. Owing to a series of accidents Eric also finishes up in the compost pit and blows his fuses so Mr Wentworth sends the Robot back to Famborough. Starred no less than KEITH CHEGWIN himself, plus his brother Jeffrey, Roy Kinnear and Patricia Routledge. .

ELECTRIC ESKIMO - A young eskimo boy is struck by a mysterious ray from the UK government and he becomes a human "electric eel". All sorts of crooks and villains chase the eskimo and his British friends throughout the countryside. The best line is by the speccy boy with the calculator: "If electric eskimo ate three tonnes of sugar he could light up Piccadilly Circus for a week". What about his teeth, mate?

ESCAPE FROM THE SEA - Christopher and Jane Oakley, on holiday in Cornwall, are warned by a local lifeguard, Pen, and his friends Rabble, Mat and Meg, to keep his rubber canoe in rock pools. Ignoring this advice, Christopher gets swept out to sea. Robbie spots Chris, end with the help of his friends rescues him as he sweeps by the headland. But the tide comes in and traps them. Attempting to escape through an old mineshaft, they find it blocked and return to the beech, where Pen is injured by a further fall of rock. Rabble and Mat climb the cliff and call in the Navy to the rescue.

FERN THE RED DEER - Belinda, an orphan, arrives at the remote Exmoor sheep farm owned by her aunt and uncle. Her cousin Tom resents the arrival of this 'ignorant Londoner' but the children are soon united in caring for an abandoned deer calf, which they name Fern. A farm is no place for a wild deer, however, and Fern comes close to death more than once before the children finally persuade her to return to the wild.

THE FIREFIGHTERS - Adventures of the Grant children who live near a fire station and help out with fire drills (that's nice) but become accused of arson when a series of fire start up. The kids, naturally, unearth the real culprits - including SAM "ORLANDO'S HIDEAWAY" KYDD. Cliffhanger ending when two of the kids are trapped in a burning warehouse. Will they escape? Well... yes, obviously.

FLASH THE SHEEP DOG - When Tom Stokes, a young English orphan. comes to stay with his Uncle and Aunt on a border sheep farm, he finds that life is very different. Dougie Mackieson, the self-opinionated son of a neighbour doesn't help matters but Tom meets Andra, a kindly shepherd, who introduces him to his first real Scottish friend, Flash, a Border Collie. Dougie challenges Tom to prove Flash against his own dog in the local Sheepdog trials. Despite Dougie's efforts to interfere with Flash's training, Tom and Flash win the day.

THE FLOOD - A storm is raging round isolated Willow Farm. Mr Weatherfield has to take his wife to hospital and the farmhands end their wives cannot return from market because of the rising water. The children, marooned, think it exciting but two irresponsible elder boys make off in a dinghy with the provisions. The others make a raft and leave too. They find the food raiders clinging to a tree, the dinghy sunk. In desperation the chiidren light a beacon which at last guides rescuers to the farm.

THE FLYING SORCERER - David has been helping Uncle Charlie with a secret invention - a time-machine. When the machine is accidentally activated by Suki, the dog, they land outside a medieval castle where they meet Astrolabe, a sorcerer) and Lady Eleanor. The countryside is being terrorised by Dormantus, a fire-breathing dragon. David and Charlie transport Eleanor and Astrolabe into the Twentieth Century... unfortunately, Dormantus too! David eventually fixes a time despatcher to the dragon's nose, and he is sent back. Astrolabe and Eleanor return to their century and David and Charlie promise to visit them.

4D SPECIAL AGENTS - Some kids are playing in a disused dockland area. Jane, a policeman's daughter, leads one group. The other is led by Steve. When they discover a box of stolen jewellery. Jane insists that they report their find to the police and the box is taken to her home. Steve, however, has managed to steal a large brooch. Two crooks retrieve the jewels, discover that the brooch is missing and kidnap Jane. Steve tries to exchange her for the brooch but is caught. They are imprisoned on a cruiser, which heads down the river. The children manage to send out an SOS on the boat's radio and there follows a thrilling chase involving another boat, the River Police and a police helicopter! Crumbs! The "4D" bit was part of the tacked-on safety campaign - a "beware of strangers"-type affair. The 4Ds were 4 "don't" rules - don't talk to strangers, don't go off with strangers... er, and two others. Class discussions were given, badges handed out, and no doubt, lives saved. Bless.

GHOST OF A CHANCE - KINDLY OLD ghosts living in an old mansion that The Kids frequent enlist their help (there's a lot of this sort of thing) when The Council (led by bowler-hatted ROY KINNEAR) plan to tear down the house to build some child-unfriendly municipal construction. In the finale, the ghosts do all sorts of scary things to Kinnear and his dozy henchmen, resulting in humiliation for those nasty old grown-ups and victory for kids 'n' ghosts alike.

GLITTERBALL - IT'S THE late '70s. STAR WARS is causing much damage screenwise. The Kids are deserting your nice, honest, provincial, low-budget adventures in droves. What to do? Put on a cheap-as-cheap-can sci-fi winner, that's what. The "aliens" in this effort were - wait for it - animated ball bearings/silvered golf balls, who trundled jerkily around, devouring cakes, Marathons etc. while emitting a high-pitched bleepy noise. CFF mainstay DUDLEY SUTTON was the obligatory nasty grown-up who was out to exploit them for some reason or other. Two kids found one of the balls and "befriended" it somehow. It all came to a head "down the rec", where the balls had their revenge, massing up in less-than-spectacular manner to clobber the foe. The decorations on an archetypal seventies trifle never seemed the same again...

THE GREAT PONY RAID - Two CFF children at a pony club on Dartmoor report some stolen horses to the police, but bugger me, they won't listen. The standard kiddie detective shenanigans ensue, with, natch, the police stepping in at the last minute when it all gets a bit too much. The usual confused CFF moral stance on law and order.

HEADLINE HUNTERS - When Mr Hunter, the owner of The Clarion newspaper, is taken ill, Mr Bagshot, the owner of the rival newspaper, persuades Fuetwick, the Clarion's sole reporter to come and work for him, hoping that this will force the Clarion to close down. But he has not reckoned with the three Hunter children, who with the help of Henry the printer, manage to keep the paper in circulation, despite opposition from Mr Bagehot.

HIDE AND SEEK - Fatherless Keith Lawson (PETER NEWBY) runs away from his "approved school" to find his dad, and ends up meeting local copper's kids Beverley and Chris (played by - yes! - GARY "MUSCLEBOUND" KEMP!), but his dad is arrested by said other dad during a foiled bank robbery and Keith goes back to the approved. But not for long...

HIGH RISE DONKEY - Those titles just keep coming. Top floor urban kids long for a pet in their dingy flat, until the kindly rag and bone man (appropriately enough, WILFRED "STEPTOE" BRAMBELL) is rushed to hospital, and they take charge of his donkey. A donkey on the top floor of a block of flats! Imagine the scrapes they'd get into. But it's not all smiles, as two nasty-but-bumbling crooks (including regulation issue ROY KINNEAR) plan to steal the donkey to sell for - gasp! - horsemeat! Will the kids give in? Yes. Oh all right, no.

HIJACK - Three children, Jack, Jenny and Lucy, are playing on a beach when a youth, Colin, appears over the sandhills. He persuades them to give him a lift across the river in their dinghy. When they stop at their father's yacht he invites himself on board, produces a flick-knife and a hand grenade, and forces the children to set sail for France. Police and naval authorities cannot help as Colin threatens to blow up the yacht and its occupants with the grenade. It is up to the children to get themselves out of their predicament.

A HITCH IN TIME - A kindly if slightly batty old professor (PATRICK TROUGHTON, no less) enlists the help of two kids when he invents a time machine (time-travel sequence a triumph of cheapo floaty-shapes animation). What they were doing, we can't recall (although initial "late for school"-type shenanigans were no doubt on the cards), but Robin Hood and various other historical characters may well have been involved. Check out THIS CLIP

A HORSE CALLED JESTER - Tins believes that she can communicate with Jester the work-weary old carthorse of a junk collector. When Jester is in danger of being put down, Tins rallies the local children to raise enough money to retire it to an animal sanctuary. They discover a plot to rob a milk depot. Jester is instrumental in foiling the crooks and earns retirement from a grateful dairy company.

THE HOSTAGES - Two bumbling prison escapees (including ace Confessional cockney ROBIN ASKWITH) hide out in a farmhouse where they force the three kids left alone there to keep quiet and get 'em some food and new clothes. The kids, natch, foil the ne'er-do-wells, in eminently slapstickable fashion.

HOVERBUG - Dick and Jenny Brewster hope to win a race for home-made Hoverbugs. They build their own Hoverbug but their rivals Charlie and Sidney bend the rules by enlisting professional help. The main trouble with the Brewster Hoverbug is that it keeps falling apart. until Dick and Jenny meet Mr Watts, a real inventor, who has developed an instant glue, Wattstick. But Wattstick proves to be only a temporary adhesive. Tch.

THE HUNCH - Ian, Janet, Henry and their cousin set out in their grandfather's boat to find the Norek, a Norwegian pleasure boat, abandoned when its engines failed. They find the Norsk and board her, but their boat drifts away. A small coaster finds them but rescue operations fail. They are resumed when another boat with the children's father on board arrives.

HUNTED IN HOLLAND - Tim goes to stay with his Dutch pen pal Piet and accidentally falls foul of a tourist guide on his way accost. This guide is one of a gang smuggling stolen diamonds into Holland; a bracelet is hidden in his walking stick and Tim, Piet and his sister discover this. They decide to take the diamonds to Fist's policeman brother in Rotterdam and set off in Piet's father's barge. But the gang are after them. The children manage to lock them up in the hold and navigate the barge to Rotterdam, to safely deliver the diamonds.

THE JOHNSTOWN MONSTER - A youngster takes a photograph of the lake which indicates that the legendary Johnstown village monster might not be a legend after all. Tourists flock to the area, but the boom fades when the monster fails to appear, so our young friends create their own monster, and the tourists return - but the monster has the last word...

JUNKET89 - Junket's troubles really begin when the science master allows Junket to borrow his experimental instant transportation machine. Junket enjoys life by despatching himself to Africa and other foreign parts. Disaster strikes however when a new boy, Boofles Trowser-Legge (yes), joins the school, for he too is transported overseas and Junket is accused of kidnapping him. All appears to end well - until the instant transportation machine takes on a life of its own. With Linda Robson and Richard Wilson.

KADOYNG - A new motorway is due to be driven through the sleepy village of Byway, and Professor Balfour and his three children, Billy, Lucy and Barney rally the villagers in opposition. It seems that nothing can save Byway from destruction until a spacecraft arrives from the Planet Stoikal, containing a humanoid named Reject 842 with a small antenna, through which he can influence people's thoughts and transport objects. The children call him KADOYNG, and take him to a meeting about the motorway. KADOYNG uses his antenna to disrupt the meeting, and tells the Balfour family that he can stop the motorway from coming through the village. Unfortunately, he makes a mistake in the formula being used with near disastrous results

THE KID FROM CANADA - Andrew Cameron, a Canadian boy, is invited to spend a pony-trekking holiday in the highlands of Scotland. Being shy with strangers, he is consequently boastful and earns the dislike of Neil, his Scottish cousin. During a horse show Neil accuses Andy of bad sportsmanship. And soon proves himself, however, when he rides hard over dangerous country to the aid of an injured shepherd.

THE LAST RHINO - David lives with his uncle, the warden of a game reserve in East Africa, and is a friend to the last rhino there, Black Beauty. When hunting tribesmen illegally track and wound her, she becomes very dangerous, and the warden goes out reluctantly to kill her. David and his girl cousin from England are sure that if the rhino's wound is dressed she will recover her docility. Risking great dangers from the wild country and from other animals they reach her and succeed in quietening her in time to save her from their uncle's gun and the native hunters.

LIONHEART - A lion escapes from a circus and causes general alarm in the neighbouring countryside. The army are called in with orders to shoot it, little knowing that it has been hidden in a stable by a boy called Andrew and his friends Belinda and Robert. Robert rides off to find the circus and returns with the circus lorry to see Andrew standing in front of the lion to prevent the Army shooting it. The lion is put safely back into its cage, and the children are congratulated for their brave efforts.

THE MAN FROM NOWHERE - In 1860 Alice Harvey, an orphan comes to live with her great-uncle at Tower House. On the way from the railway station she is approached by a strange man who tells her to return to the orphanage. Alice is befriended by four homeless urchins and her great-uncle's housekeeper but continued threats by the stranger make her decide to return to the orphanage. The children persuade her to stay and they set a trap for the Man from Nowhere.

MAURO THE GYPSY - Titular romany arrives at a Scottish village, and wouldn't ya know it, the locals object. But, as ever, he's befriended by Leslie (FIONA KENNEDY). And of course, when she gets trapped in a "secret cave" later on, with the tide rising fast, only Mauro can save the day, be accepted into village society, "oh, we were wrong about you", etc. Nice.

THE MINE AND THE MINOTAUR - On a Cornish camping trip, four CFF kids see a couple of "mysterious men" go down an abandoned mineshaft. They investigate, and discover a fake plaster rock wall hiding "valuable art treasures". Smugglers! Needless to say, all is quickly foiled.

MISCHIEF - A new pony, Mischief, gives a lot of trouble to his stable lad Harry, but Davy is able to calm him. Harry, seeking revenge, engineers Davy's dismissal. When an Education Officer visits the riding stable, his daughter Pat insists on riding Mischief, who bolts on hearing some music, She is thrown on to the ledge of a quarry just as preparations are being made for blasting. But Davy, with the help of Mischief, is able to save Pat in the nick of time.

THE MISSING NOTE - The old piano with the missing note is very important to Joan and her two brothers as they play on it and keep mice and blues inside. When by mistake it is sold to a junk man, the children start on a wild chase after it through London, hoping to buy it back. They do not know that a thief surprised by the police has also hidden some jewels in the piano and is after it too.

MR HORATIO KNIBBLES - Whimsical, low-alcohol Harvey clone. Mary Bunting's parents refuse her a rabbit as a birthday present. Disconsolately, Mary is sitting alone when to her surprise and delight a six foot rabbit-elegantly dressed in frock coat and fancy waistcoat-appears, and introduces himself as Mr Horatio Knibbles. As he is a magic rabbit, he can be seen only by Mary, which naturally creates great confusion and misunderstanding.

MR SELKIE - A Selkie is a seal that leaves the ocean and comes ashore as a man. When Eileen and Jimmy, entrusted with the Mayoral chain, unwittingly lose it in the sea Mr Selkie appears and makes friends with them. At the Town Hall an impassioned plea by Mr Selkie against sea pollution falls upon deaf ears, so the trio, aided by other children, dump piles of rubbish onto the Mayor and Councillors. Mr Selkie magically projects scenes of pollution on to the walls of the Council Chamber. The campaign is successful and Mr Selkie returns to the sea as a seal but not before rescuing the Mayoral chain for Eileen and Jimmy.

THE MONSTER OF HIGHGATE PONDS (directed by Alberto Cavalcanti) - David, Sophie and Chris help their uncle to unpack specimens from Malaya and are given an unidentified egg. When this hatches into a baby monster their troubles begin. Pocket money only just produces enough food to satisfy its enormous appetite, and as it grows larger and larger they have to keep it in Highgate Pond. Two fair men seeking a new exhibit lure it into a stolen van. The children alert the police who recapture the monster and escort it to the docks, where it is given a send-off back to Malaya.

THE MYSTERIOUS WRECK - A group of young Germans on holiday at a coastal village are intrigued by an old wreck in the bay. They visit the wreck by night and discover signs that they are not the only visitors on the forbidden ship. Their visit has, however, been discovered by the Shore Patrol, who confiscate their boat as punishment. The children decide that the only way they can retrieve their boat is by helping the Shore Patrol to discover what the other mysterious visitors were doing on the wreck.

NIGHT FERRY - Jeff, Nick and Carol live in a London suburb. But wait! One day Jeff notices two undertakers struggling with an "unusually shaped" coffin. (What he doesn't notice is that one of them is BERNARD CRIBBINS, but never mind). The kids find out it's a priceless sarcophagus, no less, due to be smuggled out of the country on the night ferry to France! (note major location budget) Time for some thwarting...

NOSEY DOBSON - Nosey Dobson is a compulsive snooper who is determined to become a great detective but his clumsy efforts at detection enrage his village of Drumadoon and, in particular, Constable MacLean. When Nosey stumbles on a plan to steal priceless silver from Drumadoon Castle nobody believes him. When the silver is stolen Nosey is hot on the scent and, after a rare series of misadventures, finally succeeds in trapping the thieves, under the very nose of Constable MacLean.

ON THE RUN - Thomas Okapi, son of a deposed African Ruler, is in the care of his Uncle Joseph in London, who plans to kidnap him. With the help of his two friends, Ben and Lii, he leaves London for a seaside town, with Uncle Joseph and his accomplice Baldy in hot pursuit. Capture is imminent, but Ben escapes and contacts the police who arrive in time to prevent the kidnapping.

ONE HOUR TO ZERO - When Steve Rogers runs away from home, his sister and best mate Paul "go on his trail", and find him in the abandoned slate quarry. But there's problems in the village, as it's been evacuated, without the kids knowing due to an imminent explosion at the nearby nuclear power station! How to save it? Enviro-friendly suspense peaked in the final cutting-'twixt-kids-and-station-staff countdownal climax.

OPERATION THIRD FORM - When Dick is accused of the theft of the school bell and sent home by the headmaster, his class mates combine to try and find the real culprit and stumble on a far more serious crime, the theft of a valuable painting belonging to one of the school's governors. Dick and his friends not only manage to retrieve the school's bell, but also return the painting to its rightful owner.

PAGANINI STRIKES AGAIN - Mike and Bill, on their way to a music lesson, get stuck in a lift. They hear a gunshot and see a pair of yellow shoes run past. They suspect some unseen criminal has robbed the nearby jewellery shop, but dagnab it, the police just won't believe them. So, as ever, it's up to The Kids once more...

THE PEREGRINE HUNTERS - Similar in plot to LOOK AND READ's Sky Hunter. Two 12-year-olds, Beetle Whitman and Alex Banks, decide to investigate the disappearance of Peregrine falcons owned by Hawkeye Brown and Beetle's father. Their suspicion falls on Frank Bagley, a pet shop owner. When Alex finds himself trapped in Bagley's van on the way to a disused airfield, Beetle and Hawkeye give chase on the latter's motor-cycle and sidecar. They arrive just in time and, in an exciting finale, the motorcycle prevents the plane with the stolen Peregrines aboard from taking off.

POP PIRATES - A PIVOTAL pre-GRANGE HILL role for mulleted heart throb Ant Jones. The Kids had a pop group, y'see, with (this being the early 80s) vaguely raggae/ska-ish inflections and lyrics like "Say what you wanna say/Baby, you're the one". Woo-hoo. The grown-up evildoers in this case were a pair of music pirates/smugglers (conforming to the fat nasty mastermind/dozy henchman whose stupidity is eventually their undoing format) holed up in a disused canal barge. Much sneaking about, getting discovered, being captured and locked up, trying to enlist the help of the local police who didn't believe them (adults! Cuh!) etc. Needless to say, all was well by the time those credits rolled...

RAISING THE ROOF - Right, here goes. Jack and Jill Robbins are lent a talking toucan by the cameo scene-stealing Duke of Bedford to enter a pets competition. But their nasty rivals nick the bird, substituting a Pythonesque stuffed version. But, o-ho-hof course, in the nick of time the real bird is rescued and is carried in triumph to the theatre! Good. Liz 'Double Bunk' Fraser starred.

THE RESCUE SQUAD - When Joe's toy aeroplane flies in through the window of the lonely tower on the moor, the children are unable to get in despite everything they try. They involve themselves with paint pots, a brass band, and a wedding, with arrows, traffic and the local Hunt. The fire escape runs into the river, the arrows puncture a balloon and a bicycle collapses. When they do at last succeed in getting into the tower, the children are trapped there themselves, but Neddy, the donkey, shows them the way out.

ROBIN HOOD JUNIOR - Yes, it's KEITH CHEGWIN time again, now playing a chubby, chirpy Errol Flynn in this scaled-down retread of the old Notts chestnut. Kidnapped village children and the evil Baron de Malherbe are involved. Cheggers Buckles Swash, at great length.

ROCKETS IN THE DUNES - The Allen children live by the sea in Devon and race sand yachts there until the Army takes over their dunes as a rocket range. As this threatens many local activities, the children help organise a protest meeting, though they cannot raise enough money to hire a hall until Joey tells his puppy, Rimbo. Rimbo runs away from his new owners and as Joey rushes after him he catches his foot in the loop of a buried butterfly mine. He end the puppy are rescued just in time by the Colonel, and the Army agree to use only a part of the dunes.

RUNAWAY RAILWAY -To delay the closure of the Barming Loop Railway, children try a minor act of sabotage on Matilda, the engine. Unfortunately it stops the eccentric Lord Chalk taking over the loop Iine. With the help of supposed railway enthusiasts they repair the damage, not realising that the enthusiasts are thieves planning to use Matilda for a mail train robbery. A trial run ends with the controls jamming and the engine runs away, but the children have found out about the robbery and unmask the gang. Lord Chalk, impressed by Matilda's astonishing performance, decides to buy the line. Ronnie Barker and Jon Pertwee star.

THE SALVAGE GANG - Kim breaks a saw belonging to Pat's father and with his gang he tries to earn enough money to replace it. They paint a canal boat, with disastrous results, and wash a car which comes to pieces. They try washing dogs, and this, too, fails, Then their dog runs off, and while gang member Freddie is chasing him, reaches the street where his family is moving house and finds his brass bed which the removal men have left on the pavement. They sell it. For the gang this means a chase across London to retrieve it, and a long walk home, pushing the bed through the busy city streets with (and they really do say this on the box for this one) hilarious results.

SAMMY'S SUPER T-SHIRT - There was this kid, right? Called Sammy, and he had a... yes, well. Archetypal childhood Messiah fantasy gave the initially poor, put-upon and bullied Sammy a New Start In Life as the picture on his T-Shirt (which we seem to remember was one of those iron-on tiger's heads, or something), when rubbed, gave off "magical powers", due to some accidental chemical spillage incident wiv da shirt. Time stopped, sports day races were won and much mayhem ensued. Eventually, of course, something "went wrong" to make Sammy discard the shirt and "love himself for who he really is". Or something like that, but that was the dull moral that all the kids always ignored anyway.

SCRAMBLE - Jimmy Riley, who has been in trouble with the police, makes friends with Colin and Brian Buxton, both keen scramblers at a schoolboys' scramble club. The club's organiser gives Jimmy a job in his garage, where Jimmy builds his own bike, Lennie and Cliff, old friends of Jimmy's, steal wealthy Mr Hepplewhite's car. Mr Hepplewhite buys his son, Oscar, a bike, which he has no idea how to control. Next week when the scramblers are away, Jimmy - left behind - finds the crooks with the car but will not join in with them. Oscar's bike, again out of control, crashes into the barn. Lennie and Cliff escape in the car, but are caught by Jimmy and Colin on their bikes.

SEAL ISLAND - Conservation area is breeding ground for seals. The kids like the seals. Some men want to shoot them and sell the pelts. The kids save the seals. Everyone's happy.

SEVENTY DEADLY PILLS - A doctor's car which is stolen and dumped contains deadly pills which look like sweets. The police are alerted, but the pills have been found by a boy, who uses them to buy himself membership of the Rocket Gang. The 'sweets' are shared out but Brian, the leader, decides that they shall be used as swaps the next day, and not eaten. They each take a packet home, but Gertie can't resist eating hers, and is rushed into hospital. The police redouble their efforts to trace the rest of the pills. Brian hears an SOS message over the wireless, and warns the others just in time.

THE SKY-BIKE - When Tom Smith visits a disused airfield, he encounters an eccentric inventor, Mr Lovejoy testing the Sky-Bike, with which he hopes to win the prize for the first man-powered flying machine. Unscrupulous rivals are also using the airfield to test their own machine. Mr Lovejoy is kidnapped, and the Sky-Bike is wrecked but with Tom's help, Mr Lovejoy is released and the Sky-Bike repaired. By this time the rival machine airborne, and an exciting chase ensues.

SKY PIRATES - When their model plane crashes Mike and Harry are befriended by ex-pilot Charlie Bradford and his niece Maggie, who teach them how to fly radio-controlled planes. When crooks steal Charlie's latest model in an attempt to smuggle a stolen diamond across the Channel, the children embark on an ingenious and exciting plan to thwart them.

SMOKEY JOE'S REVENGE - SMOKEY JOE is a neglected old steam roller. Mr Williams wants to get rid of it because he has bought a traction engine called MIRABELLE. After a disastrous demonstration to a potential buyer, Mr Williams gives SMOKEY JOE to Debbie, Tom and Jim, who spend all their pocket money on paint, and many hours restoring the engine. Finally, it is ready to enter a steam championship competition, where the toughest rival turns out to be MIRABELLE. SMOKEY JOE wins first prize, but Mr Williams snatches the cup from the children and assures the listening crowd that SMOKEY JOE really belongs to him. He tries to drive SMOKEY JOE away. . . but he has not reckoned with SMOKEY JOE who has decided that it is time Mr Williams was taught a lesson.