TV CREAM REVERSE FAQ

We get asked loads of questions at TV Cream every day, but strangely enough, somehow the answers are always the same. So, in order to reduce correspondence and thus save the environment (don't be a dinosaur, that's our motto), all the answers to your retro telly questions can be found in this handy cut-out-and-keep list ...

1. Michael Lush, and no, you didn't see it live.
2. UP2U, at the Royal Tournament
3. Stableford, Jones, Brookes
4. They are all anagrams of 'Dragon'
5. "Matt Bianco, you're a bunch of wankers" and "Why are you so fucking crap?"
6. Professor Yaffle
7. His name was James Harries, and he's now a woman
8. Out Of This World, weekday mornings, 10am, ITV
9. Apparently Kevin Rowland was in on it all along
10. On Newsround with Roger Finn, and you didn't see it live
11. It wasn't Sophie Ellis-Bextor
12. "Certainly be interesting to see if that's made it into the dictionary"
13. It's spelt "Roobarb"
14. ...and no "And Custard"
15. Hickory House
16. The lefty one now works in television and the Asian one was called Spider
17. It was bitten off by an otter
18. Michael Staniforth, who is now dead
19. It was actually called 'T-Bag'
20. It's slightly too old to be mentioned on the site
21. It's slightly too recent to be mentioned on the site
22. Yes, in fact TVC's Jack Kibble-White helped out in the production of the DVD extras
23. There's a difference between "free speech" and just homophobia, and it's our message board anyway
24. Yes, we have spotted that tiswas.com page, and no, we wouldn't send £10 either
25. We promise to update the site within the next decade
26. Pan's People, Legs & Co, Hot Gossip
27. All About Eve, after around 1 min 30 secs on their song.
28. The Adventure Game
29. Dallas had an errant and peculiar series explained as a character's dream, Dynasty had characters abducted by aliens.
30. There were in fact no characters with rude names in Captain Pugwash.
31. Top row: Middle-aged male character actor/humourist, middle-aged female character actress/celeb, blandish 30/40something male celeb; bottom row: bit of fluff for host to eye up, whacky comedian, and dizzy actress/singer
32. Swearing and double-entendres on Rainbow were filmed especially for the crew's amusement and never transmitted.
33. "Providing it's with dignity"
34. (Skier) Martin Bell: "Can I see your cock?"
35. Casey Jones was a train driver
36. They were mostly softcore porn films, on Channel 4 around midnight for about a month in 1987. They provocatively displayed a red triangle in the corner.
37. It wasn't a real fight, it was Desmond Lynam's idea of an April Fool joke.
38. Faces, Places, Sport, Showbiz, Britain, Bible, Affairs, History, Books, Spelling.
39. You have to converse with people and offer things in return to get a video of your favourite programme.
40. "Fucking Nescafe"
41. Roy Jay
42. Peter Perfect, Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth, The Army Surplus Special, The Ant Hill Mob, Pat Pending, Penelope Pitstop, the Slag Brothers, the Gruesome Twosome, the Red Max, Luke & Blubber Bear and Dick Dastardly and Muttley
43. They were called Rondo Veneziano, and they were all real classically-trained musicians.
44. Bob Blackman
45. Posh Paws - which actually isn't Swap Shop backwards.
46. It was the winning entry in a viewer competition, and he ran the London Marathon in a similar design.
47. Hugh Johns, and "here's Hurst, can he make it four? He has, he has!"
48. TV Mayhem, on Saturday mornings in the autumn of 1991, then they lost their franchise and axed it.
49. Oliver Postgate almost certainly never went in for that sort of thing.
50. Because it's not actually very funny, and Gervais himself is a twat, but Guardian reviewers always go on about it apropos of nothing.