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VON SYDOW
"What's the point of this? Why don't you get John Wayne, or someone?"
It is true to say that not many foreign actors have made a huge impact on Creamguide (Films) and, thereby, the world. To qualify we should say that we are referring to actors for whom English is not their first language (although for the purposes of this treatise we will not be including Bobcat Goldthwaite even though he is obviously qualified). Francois Truffaut, Alain Delon, Curt Jurgens and Gert Frobe have come close. Some like Herbert Lom and Yul Brynner have gone completely native and no longer qualify. Some others, like Maurice Chevalier, we prefer to forget.
At the pinnacle of the remaining cadre stands the imposing – and frankly scary – figure of Max Von Sydow. This made all the more remarkable by the fact that the remaining few who have registered are almost exclusively women; Sophia Loren, Gina Lollobrigida, Marlene Dietrich and all that mob. But none of them have come anywhere near the stature or gravitas of our Max. And, crucially, none of the birds have made nearly as many great films as him either.
Most people's first experience of the nascent Max genius will come from the eminent – and eminently dry – roller coaster comedy THE SEVENTH SEAL . Max plays Antonius Block the knight who plays chess with death on the beach, in his native Swedish tongue and directed by notorious giggler (at least we hope he was) Ingmar Bergman. So Max got off to a good, solid, artistically credible start. Of course, he also appeared in a whole raft of other fabulous Swedish films which, we are sure they have the power to make us laugh and make us cry, we haven't seen. The reason for this omission is because we are, of course, Philistines. So the first role of his that matters, at least on our debased criteria, is as the chilling Colonel Koznov the Russian spymaster at the heart of the brilliant, yet admittedly baffling, THE KREMLIN LETTER.
As if that great film by John `Myra Breckenridge' Huston needed any recommendation beyond its being listed amongst the holy of holies in our Top 100, we can quite confidently (although perhaps wrongly) assert that this is not only Huston at his best but also that it carries the best performance of co-star Orson Welles in one of his many `other' films. Von Sydow somehow manages to make Koznov – a man described as sadistic, ruthless and murderous – rather the victim of the piece. He never becomes an anti-hero, which would be all wrong, but you can't help feeling sorry for him. And you don't feel guilty for that since he does, after all, get it in the end.
What is particularly admirable about Von Sydow is that despite the number of murderous loonies he has plays he never succumbs to being typecast as such and is still believable as a goody. In fact, he got to play the biggest goody of them all when he starred in THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD as yer actual Jesus in a Biblical epic noteworthy for not being rubbish (see `K is for KING OF KINGS' for full listings). So good is Max as the man in the beard and dressing gown that you don't spend any great length of time wondering why the Nazarene has a Swedish accent, which is a feat in itself. Also in the goody column – although in slightly different company – Max also manages to strike a note of humanity into the Third Reich as the not- too-naughty Nazi Major in lad favourite ESCAPE TO VICTORY. Admittedly this may be stretching the definition of `goody' a little far but slightly (but not much) more up to date Max also makes an appearance as the nice scientist in Dennis Quaid-helmed sci-fi bobbins DREAMSCAPE in which Quaid tangles with a killer snake he can only see and Max looks worried in a cardigan. Don't let all that fool you though – it's not very good.
In a further extension of that earlier Nazi motif Max also starred in the made for TV drama FATHER. Mostly remembered for startling daytime midweek film aficionados more used to the gentle comic botherings of Teri Garr, Max stars as a German long settled in the US with a nice, wholesome dentally perfect family. Meanwhile on a talk show a Simon Weisenthal-alike outs Max as an escaped Nazi and much consternation follows with suitably Teutonically-tempered rows between the old boy and his daughter played by matinee mainstay Carol Drinkwater. Sadly we can't recall now if he actually was a Nazi on the lamb or not in the end so we'd be grateful if someone could fill us in on that.
Getting away from the mortgage-and-college-fee-paying canon and into more familiar territory again we move into what some (although certainly not us) reckon is his most famous and best role, that of Lancaster Merrick (or `the old one') in THE EXORCIST. Now, the odd fifties throwback film critic will tell you that this is either the scariest film ever made or just plain the best film ever. Both those statements are, of course, cobblers but do at least point to the fact that everyone knows the film and Max's role in it. It passes a couple of hours easily enough but we've never really been over keen on it since we don't really find badly made-up foul-mouthed teenage girls on film any scarier than the badly made-up foul-mouthed teenage girls to be seen routinely hanging around bus stops and chip shops every evening. We do however find the bloody awful sequel THE HERETIC far more entertaining, not least because we once heard an unidentified voice scream "Pazuzu!" in a nightclub in Glasgow. An experience which left us helpless with laughter for some time.
Leaving that aside, easily Max's best film and a genuine contender for the title of Greatest Film Ever (albeit and outsider) is Top 100 staffer FLASH GORDON. As Emperor Ming (the Merciless, lest we forget) Von Sydow is quite shockingly good brushing off Topol's bleeding heart implorations to spare the Earth, trying to buy off Flash with the offer of a kingdom (used), looking in secretly on the flagellation of Ornella Muti (an experience we would have waved any fee for) before finally dying by being skewered by a whole spaceship. A whole spaceship! Surely the best ending to any film character in any film ever.
We have recently also uncovered further evidence of Flash Gordon's greatness (that's the film, not the prop-supporting blond dullard) in that it holds the key to the Holy Grail of Creamguide (films) by being one film which stars someone from each of the Star Wars films (the proper ones, not the new ones). The diminutive Deep Roy and Kenny Baker feature in Return of the Jedi and Empire Strikes Back respectively and William `Porkins' Hootkins is in Star Wars (nobody really calls it A New Hope, George) and all star in Flash Gordon. Hurrah!
For an added dash of credibility Max took part in Oscar winner PELLE THE CONQUEROR but on the downside he also consented to involving himself with appalling Land Rover advertising feature JUDGE DREDD. We can only hope that paid for the beach house in Malibu, or something. Other films very much in the `Dial M For Murderousness' class include CODENAME EMERALD, VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED, KOJAK: THE BELARUS FILE, Rick Moranis inspired (!) ADVENTURES BOB AND DOUG MACKENZIE and of course the cosmically bad David Lynch career- insurance DUNE.
Latterly Hollywood has come a-knocking ever more frequently and with mixed results. NEEDFUL THINGS wasn't bad as Stephen King adaptations go, HANNAH AND HER SISTERS suffered from featuring that Micklewhite character, AWAKENINGS was great and WHAT DREAMS MAY COME was bloody awful – very slowly. Rather more successful was CONAN THE BARBARIAN and Clement and La Frenais Bondalike NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN. Not the best Connery effort but it does feature Max as Blofeld and a world domination holographic computer game with vector graphics, so clearly it pisses all over Brosnan. Most recently has come Spielberg sci-fi MINORITY REPORT where Max starred alongside celebrity midget Tom Cruise and in which their scenes together gave the impression that either Cruise was standing in a hole or Max was standing on a box. Ah Tom, nature is indeed cruel.
So we look forward to whatever other treasures come our way from the great Max Von Sydow confident that whatever he chooses to make next will leave us shouting Viva Max! (except perhaps a remake of Viva Max!)
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