"Capricorn, this is you, Frank". Russell first entered popular culture back in 1983 where he donned a spectacularly tasteless stripey jumper and appeared on the first ever episode of BREAKFAST TIME, joining Boffy to run down the day ahead in the 'light-hearted' spot after half past eight. He became an instant hit, so much so that within months he was boasting about the size of his postbag ("You make me feel so happy") and even releasing Russell Grant's Zodiac Jukebox LP, which you could buy from BBC Records and Tapes. Frank was moved to write in his legendary Breakfast Book, "Occasionally somebody remarks that we don't seem to get on so well. Quite the opposite - we get on famously". So that's settled. Yet within a few years Russell had defected to TVam, and we always recall him reciting the day's stars in front of a single camera with the starsign in a window next to him, like a newsreader.

As well as his breakfast duty, Russ also appeared on ULTRA QUIZ, predicting who'd win by examining their horoscopes, and sitting alongside Tom O'Connor on teatime flop THE ZODIAC GAME. But his next presenting gig came in 1994 when he spent Tuesday afternoons fronting RUSSELL GRANT'S ALL-STAR SHOW. Each week he'd be joined by two guests to discuss matters astrological. Said show was broadcast live, and as such led to some fantastic floundering from the host, and Chris Evanswhenhewasgood became obssessed by the show while on THE BIG BREAKFAST, leading to a huge ten-minute feature one morning where he showed clips of some of his favourite moments, and finally got to speak to Russ on the phone. Alas, a second series was not forthcoming, but he's still syndicated in hundreds of newspapers every day, each one accompanied by a really bad file photo.

Nuneaton's finest, Lal spent years and years slogging around the variety theatres of Britain, first of all as a drag act under the name of Billy Breen, and then as himself. But it wasn't until 1972 when he shot to fame, being plucked from obscurity to appear on an edition of ATV's craply named Saturday variety show, SATURDAY VARIETY. He was a huge success, though, and after appearing on most episodes of the run, then got his own series within a few months, SHUT THAT DOOR! becoming an ITV staple for a couple of years. However we're most interested in the time in 1978 where he was poached by the Beeb to take over from a defecting Brucie on THE GENERATION GAME. Accompanied by a fantastic theme tune ("Larry Grayson is here to play sooooooo...."), he was an instant hit, partly thanks to BRUCE'S BIG NIGHT being so bloody awful. It was all achieved despite, or perhaps because of, Larry's basic ineptitude at fronting a game show, repeatedly cocking up his lines and messing up the rules (the contestants brought on their own cards with biogs, presumably as they didn't trust Larry to keep them). But that was why we watched it, and as the recent Challenge? repeats proved, the show was damn fine entertainment for viewers aged five to ninety-five. Larry had four years on the show, before it ended in the face of a rampant GAME FOR A LAUGH. Lal then went into semi-retirement, resurfacing in 1987 to front Anglia's quiz SWEETHEARTS. Sadly Larry died in 1995, but at least he didn't have to watch Jim Davidson piss all over his legacy, He did a fantastic WOGAN interview too - "You're writing your autobiography, Larry, are you going to gloss over the unsavoury bits?" "No, you're in it!"

It's perhaps unfortunate that for a generation, Greavsie is remembered not as one of the greatest players of all-time, but instead a chortling irritant coming up with piss-poor gags which football fans had to sit through while waiting to see some actual football. Greavsie drifted into media work in the late 1970s when ATV hired him for punditry duties, and by the 1982 World Cup he was a regular ITV pundit, and the producers noticed the 'special relationship' with Ian St John. They wanted to use him for On The Ball on WORLD OF SPORT the following season, but these plans were foiled by the fact he'd been hired by THE SATURDAY SHOW to talk sport with Tommy Boyd every week. However he contributed to Saint's show by chipping in via satellite from Birmingham each week. Why Greavsie couldn't just do one or the other, God only knows. After The Saturday Show was dropped he came into the London studio full time, and when World Of Sport ended in 1985, Saint and Greavsie span off into their own show. There was also regular punditry and co-commentary work, most notably Jim appearing alongside Brain Moore shivering at the top of Roker Park and cowering under blankets - "We look a right pair of dickheads!" "Don't say that, Jimmy."

By 1988, ITV had nicked exclusive rights to the Football League and, because they could hardly ever be bothered showing any live matches or highlights shows, the pair's show was more or less the only place you could see the action. One week Greavsie was ill and was replaced by his SPITTING IMAGE puppet, and nobody noticed. Around this time, Greavsie started to branch out into other programming - first was a Central-only chat show, which was vaguely inoffensive, but then came the piss-poor networked series set in his "gaff", which was completely unwatchable. Alas it all came to an end in 1992 when ITV lost the rights to top-flight football, and the pair were reduced to fronting any old rubbish they had left (as expertly parodied in FANTASY FOOTBALL's Saint And Greavsie Talk About The Endsleigh League As If It's Important). But there was piss-poor late night talking shop SPORT IN QUESTION. However both disappeared from our screens to make way for a new generation of ITV pundits, such as Andy Townsend and Barry Venison. Hmm. Maybe they weren't so bad after all.

Right, let's get that rumour about the student rugby team and the pool table out of the way first. And the legendary corsetry item on BLUE PETER. Forget Gail Porter, Sarah Greene was doing it all at a time when Susan Stranks was as risque as it got. Perhaps the finest moment of her stint on Blue Peter was that lengthy feature involving her, Maggie Philbin and Isla St Clair modelling a selection of Victorian corsetry, faithfully recorded in graphic detail in that year's annual. Exactly why Biddy Baxter ever sanctioned an item involving attractive female presenters in a state of undress remains a mystery to this day. Greene's Blue Peter career began as a guest, promoting her role as Sandra in SWISH OF THE CURTAIN, the highly Anna Home drama featuring a kids theatre troupe. She was quickly recruited to join messrs Duncan and Groom as part of Blue Peter's second greatest team, replacing Tina Heath in 1980 and befriending the, er, inimitable Joey Deacon.

In 1983, John Craven's Back Pages - and yes, we still have the Radio Times binder she showed us how to make - informed us that Sarah was about to become Mike Read's Saturday girl on SATURDAY SUPERSTORE. Purists would argue this is where it all started to go wrong - the fresh-faced dungareed student teacher look was ditched in favour of peroxide and big earrings and worse, Mike Smith. From the Search For A Superstar ("No breakdancers please") and the terrible 'Store ensemble records (Two Left Feet, anyone?) it was on to GOING LIVE, but despite the wholesome sexual chemistry with Phillip Schofield, a nation's sweaty teenagers had moved on to the likes of, well, Jenny Powell, and an era was at an end. Still, ten years worth of Saturday mornings is not to be sniffed at, save for a brief interregnum in 1988 when she was injured in a crash involving Mike's helicopter. The couple were also involved in BBC1's War Of The Worlds-style supernatural drama GHOSTWATCH at Hallowe'en 1992, featuring some sterling thespianism from Smitty. Since then she's been a jobbing presenter, last seen on freelancer's favourite COLLECTOR'S LOT. But some of us still carry a fireproof Advent Crown-style secret torch for Sarah - and now we're all grown-up, we don't need any help lighting it.

The fantastic Griffiths was, and still is, an actor by trade, and famously once went from portraying a murderer on stage to bantering with Big Ted within 24 hours. On PLAY SCHOOL, Derek brought rubber-limbed mime and vocal gymnastics to the mix, fast becoming a favourite among the toddler audience (scary moustache, though). But he kept up with his grown-up work as well, appearing as Marty Feldman's sidekick in his 1974 sketch series, and patronising the nation's theatres most nights. He also made a decent sideline performing the music for hundreds of other shows, most famously the Rolf-style dooby-dooing on the theme for Bod, as well as HEADS AND TAILS, RAGTIME and, a little later, TWO BY TWO.

In front of the camera he moved over to ITV to front fantastic cartoon series FILM FUN, playing all the characters, and this allowed him to become one of the first presenters of CHILDREN'SITV in March 1983 - and yes, he was in charge on the afternoon where different regions were showing different programmes, meaning he had to say "And now, a surprise!" There was some adult work as well, normally in guest appearances on the likes of GIVE US A CLUE. Still ace into the nineties, he narrated (and again, did the music for) Saturday morning nature shows OPPOSITES ATTRACT and ANIMAL WORLD, and went back to his acting roots to appear in Desmond's spin-off PORKPIE. But he didn't do enough wibbling and wobbling in that for our liking.