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ATLANTIC 252 (1989-2002) Redefining the term "heavy rotation", this long wave pop service broadcast out of Ireland to an undiscerning UK audience. Launched in 1989 when future R1 jock GARY KING announced, "Mine is the first voice you will ever hear...on Atlantic 252". Other initial voices included irritating Yank jock and former Laser 558 presenter (the station was largely made up of Laser alumni) CHARLIE WOLFE. Annoying habit of giving DJs wacky made-up names: Dan Francisco, Beverly Hills, Dusty Rhodes etc etc. RADIO LUXEMBOURG (1930s-1992) The Station Of The Stars, as this pan-European network billed itself, as it broadcast a touch of continental glamour into post-war British living rooms, and making the otherwise anonymous "Grand" Duchy a household name. While the Beeb's Light Programme majored on genteel dance bands led by polite Cholmondeley-Warneresque chaps, Luxembourg daringly imported the likes of Sinatra and later Presley across the Atlantic. Into the sixties and the station countered the rise of the pirates by dubbing itself Fab 208 - also the name of its tie-in teen scream glossy mag. Unashamedly commercial - not least the airtime which was generously sponsored by those altruistic record companies. In the seventies Luxy was the home to many rising stars of the British airwaves, including NOEL EDMONDS, PETER POWELL and DAVID JENSEN when he genuinely was a Kid. Sort of. Other big names of the era included TONY PRINCE, STUART HENRY and MIKE HOLLIS. Round about this time they cunningly began to tailor their English-language broadcast times to pick up listeners from Radio One, which used to closedown at 7pm, before Peel returned at 10pm. But the one thing everyone remembers about Luxembourg was The Fade. From its earliest days to the early 90s, 208's signal, broadcast at night on crackly medium wave from faraway Europe, was guaranteed to temporarily disappear - usually during your favourite record, prompting disgruntled listeners to starting turning their radios around, holding them at odd angles etc, before the station would return loud and clear in the middle of a Clearasil advert. Usually fondly recalled as part of the station's charm, it was bloody irritating at the time. When more and more stations began broadcasting in stereo on FM, that was what did for Luxy, which gamely (but pointlessly) tried broadcasting on satellite, before closing down for good in 1992. BRITISH FORCES BROADCASTING No British serviceman was safe from its mind-numbing mixture of anodyne shite, no matter how remote the trouble spot he found himself in. I'm certain there are those out there who still shudder involuntarily at the thought of DAVE RAVEN, RICHARD NANKIVELL, NICK BAILEY (grease! grease! slime! slime!) and, most infamously during the Falklands War, SARAH "knock three times if you're a Major or above" KENNEDY among the late 70s/early 80s platter-spinners. And what of the stars of its late-night phone-ins, especially the legendary "Lady Di", whom legend had it was the wife of a senior Army officer, fuelled by sexual frustration and cheap NAAFI booze? Oh, the memories come flooding back - so it's time for my oatmeal bath and then back to the Secure Wing for the night. Tommy Vance
attempted to interview a proud mum who wanted to dedicate a
record to her son, who was serving with a Highland unit in
Germany. Unfortunately, Mrs McSpreader (can't remember her
real name, but it wasn't far off) was so radio-gobsmacked
that all she could say was "Aye." The dialogue was on the
lines of: RADIO CAROLINE On air Easter Sunday 1964, Radio Caroline defied the Wilson government's Marine Offences Act and went on. As DJ Robbie Dale announced, "I had a letter from an old lady, a dear lady, who said, 'my dear young man, it must be over 49 years since I committed an offence with a marine!'" While JOHNNIE WALKER proclaimed, "Radio Caroline would like to thank Mr Harold Wilson and his Labour government for at last recognising this station's right to exist, its right to be here and its right to provide you with entertainment, because we belong to you and we love you. Caroline continues." Cue All You Need is Love. Except love didn't pay the bills. The two Caroline ships were towed in on March 3 1968, because they hadn't paid the bills of the tender company. Not before Johnnie Walker, had re-broadcast Mrs Dale's Diary, which was losing listeners fast. "We have got to help the old BBC!" smirked Johnnie. Of course, the entire cast of the Dales had committed an offence under the Marine Offences Act. Jessie Matthews, who played Mrs Dale, said "that Johnnie Walker should be imprisoned!" Back on air in 1972, from the now rusting Mi Amigo, and faced with an almost immediate mutiny. By this time founder RONAN O'RAHILLY was a long-haired guru, and decided to use his station to preach Loving Awareness. Ahem. Defied Dutch Marine Offences Act in 1974, sailed back to England. Became an all-album station in the 70s, which some see as the "golden era", as unhindered by ad-breaks, the DJs weaved their programmes like magic. Spent the next 15 years on so flitting on and off the air, as the ship broke anchor and suffered a major accident before finally sinking in 1980. Returned in 1983, from new ship Ross Revenge, but the 80s and the arrival of Laser 558 led to the DTI ship Diotric Surveyor sailing hot on Caroline's tail. In 1987, the ship mast collapsed and the station was put off the air, just after the hurricane of that year. The station again battled the authorities, going on and off the air, switching off the transmitters in November 1990. The name has been kept alive by various licensed broadcasts, satellite and hired airtime broadcasts. RADIO DUCK Mid 80s station, based in Stoke Newington, running off a car battery, and boasting "All oldies, all the time, on 89.9!" Radio Duck was not your typical 80s North London pirate. Two points - the entire station was broadcast from a pre-recorded C120 cassette - DTI protection on a budget - and one of the DJs was one Mike Peters. Not that one, surely... RADIO JACKIE The Sound Of South West London, this was a good and kicking station from the mid 70s until 1985, not only playing the top 40, but the trendy stuff too. Imagine XFM in 1982 playing bands like Japan etc. If you were a car owner in the area and you didn't have a Radio Jackie sticker on the back, then you were just not it. Broadcasted from the back of a cab office in Morden, Surrey at the end of the Northern Line, and the cab office had a big luminous Radio Jackie sign for all to see. Owned by a bloke called TONY COLLIS who made his real money with pub slot machines. More details here. JFM Mid 80s west London based soul station - very professional, full adverts etc. Got tracked both by BT/DTI radio investigation gestapo, and British Gas radio engineers. In days of yore utilities and emergency services shared the airwaves with FM broadcast radio - in some areas right up until the mid 90s. LASER 558 Broadcasting to London and the east coast during the 80s, as they frequently reminded us "from out on the North Sea", and when their existence came into legal question, even Smash Hits was moved to publish an article about its plight. LONDON GREEK RADIO Not really worthy as a classic pirate station, appealing only to the Greek Cypriot community of north London. Bog-standard ethnic station which lasted for ages with old records and adverts for Andy's Electronics in Haringey. But the way it went off the air was excellent. When the police finally raided the station in 1985, the transmitters were left running for an hour, enabling listeners to hear the entire smash-up, including racist police harrassment and some Greek bloke saying, "you faaackin' bastad" in a Stavros-esque type voice. Oh, and became legal in 1991. THE MUSIC MACHINE Much-raided early 90s weekend station with a heavy guitar-based rock slant. RADIO NORTH SEA INTERNATIONAL Early 70s hangover from the great days of the pirates, RNI, as it liked to be called, was actually anchored about seven miles off the Dutch coastal town of Scheveningen aboard the radio ship Mebo 2. RNI could be heard in Britain, which was a shame for two reasons: firstly, Radio One was now on the air, so the raison d'etre of the pirates was pretty much scuppered, and secondly, it was shite. Among its DJs was one SPANGLES MULDOON, who cut up very stroppy on air one time when a chap called Case Manders turned up with a boatload of heavies to tow the ship away on the grounds that he thought he owned it. Manders also thought another good wheeze to put RNI off the air would be to spray the main antenna, this turned out to be more useful as a method of redirecting several thousand watts into his happy sacks and he soon gave up the attempt, being more frightened of terminally frying his cojones than of Muldoon and his petrol bombs. In the end RNI was famously bombed on air when a boatload of nasties snuck alongside and lobbed an incendiary device down the engine room ventilator; although this didn't put RNI out of action, it did make for exciting live radio as the DJs put out a mayday call as the crew went into maximum panic around them. Lousy DJs, crap music output and ace jingles, still in use by a Dutch oldies station on - ahhh! AM - RNI was pretty much fucked in the root. But it will be remembered as the station where things really happened. ROCK FM London based station from the mid to late 80s which broadcast on Sundays. The main presenter was a guy called the LEGENDARY JIMBO alongside another DJ who wrote for Kerrang and who was the butt of jokes of the "you've got no girlfriend" ilk. Superbly amateurish stuff which sounded as if it was broadcast from someone's kitchen but which featured a wall to wall mix of hard rock. Hiding on the obscure ends of the airwaves: Biker GSXR6, Chris Hughes, Andy Kyriakides, Alex Loh, Tony Pickett, Droog Robinson |