A TVC special report

WE HATE PARKY


SUPPORTING EVIDENCE
And Here's Why ... >>
The 7 Ages of Parky >>

Dediddly-der-d-da >>

Pissing All Over Parky >>

The Nation Vs Parky >>

Since we published this Parky section, the nation have been contacting us in their fives to chime in with our views on the dour interviewer. Here's a round-up of the comments thus far received ...

THE NATION VS PARKY
Just wanted to add my little note to your no doubt already bulging postbag of agreement on this daft old tosser. You failed to bring up one crucial thing that a lot of people really hate about him; his self-appointed status as some sort of sports-guru-of-the-people. In fact his views are just the same sort of stuff you can get in any old Yorkshire piss-stinking retirement home, essentially along the lines of "It was better in my day". Add that in to his friendship with Cricket's Worst Personality, lacrymose Dickie 'Dick' Bird and you get a senile old idiot of the worst self-inflated kind.

- Ben Fasham

Well done on outing Parky. I've always thought he was a miserable old git of decidedly mediocre talent as well. If one thing makes me exercise my remote button, it's him.

- Nigel Tozer

Parky stood in for Barry Norman once when Baz was on hols. A quick check of IMDB tells me that it was 1985, because it fell to Parky to review robot-child preteen romp D.A.R.Y.L. Now this was a rubbish film, but I remember Parkinson tearing it to pieces, in a way that made you almost want to go and see it out of sympathy. (I didn't).

It was as if he felt annoyed that he should have to sit through it, despite him being a film reviewer for a fortnight. Comes with the territory, Mike. He started his review by saying how much he hated American children, and the slang they use. And the worst thing was, you knew Barry Norman would have been kinder. He would have said it was rubbish, but good clean fun for the kids, that kind of thing. Instead of which Parkinson poured out his spleen over it, in an undignified and quite frightening way.

The less we see of this arrogant, miserable, petulant sod, the better. And what a surprise, he plays lots of jazz and swing on his radio show.

- Matthew Petty

At last, someone hates Parky as much as me. I've despised the jazz snob since he briefly removed his tongue from Jamie "the boy David" Cullum's arse to dismiss Brian Wilson's Smile as "pop rubbish." I love you.

- Tom Urie

Well done on the Parky articles. However, you forget to mention the atrocious habit he has where, after a few minutes of very light humorous banter, his interviews always take a serious turn, usually in the shape of "now tell me all about your mother". Why anyone in 2005 wants to hear about Ronnie Corbett's mother (for the umpteenth time) is beyond me.

Speaking of which, i once saw Jeremy Clarkson on his show, and obviously it was arranged that Clarkson didn't want to talk about his mother on a shite old telly programme, so the serious turn in conversation was "now, you are very interested in Isambard Kingdom Brunel... why is that?" Suddenly the conversation flipped from upbeat pleasantries to gravel-faced seriousness, as if a member of the Royal family had just pegged it.

Not to mention his dire musical offerings, for example, "ladies and gentlemen, one of the world's top singers... Dionne Warwick!" or Babs Dickson. Jesus Christ, Parky, no wonder Jonathan Ross pisses in your dinner with that calibre of act.

And this is my favourite Parky moment ever. And I mean ever, ever. He went on some BAFTA tribute night to the then recently departed Bob Monkhouse. As soon as Parkinson's name was mentioned, I immediately launched into my Parky impersonation, which involves me saying the words "Billy Connolly" over and over again in a sadly unconvincing Parky accent. Anyway, he got to the mic and his opening line was along the lines of "although not as direct as some modern comedians like Billy Connolly, Bob Monkhouse was..." I couldn't believe it! He couldn't even speak at another comedian's wake without mentioning Billy Fucking Connolly within five seconds. The man is obsessed.

And his interviews with Billy Connolly are NOT FUNNY. And they never were.

- Declan McCafferty

What a bunch of sad people if all you can do to be creative is set up a website criticising a 'household' name. If you don't like him switch off and watch something else. Use your obvious computer web creation skills to do something beneficial for mankind. Get a life, read a book. Don't waste your time ... come to think of it, why am I wasting my time?!!!

- Susan Sandham